Top Ten List for Beating the Etsy Blues (courtessy of AlliB)

**Please note the following article was written by fellow Etsian AllieB and used with her permission.**
-Wendy Baylis :-)

Have you got the Etsy Blues? Lots of stock , but no sales?
Top Ten List for Beating the Etsy Blues:
10. Hold an empty brown paper bag over your mouth, bend your head back and yell into it as loud as you can. Now twist it fast to catch all your 'hot air' and BOOM...pop it with your fist! Now don't you feel better?
9. Force your family to collect all the tiny bits of lint off their clothes and from the dryer. Make a gigantic lint pumpkin and spray paint it bright orange. Now list it on Etsy. SOMEONE will buy it! 8. Take a walk around your block BACKWARDS while repeating the Etsy Creed, 'Your Place to Buy and Sell All Things Handmade' over and over and over again at the top f your voice. Sure you MIGHT get hauled off to the loony bin but maybe, just maybe, you will get a new customer for your shop!
7. Go to your Etsy shop at least once a day and visit the people who have 'hearted' you in their shops. Once their banner comes up repeat this phrase thrice...."Thank you for loving me and for not putting a value on our Etsy love by …NOT BUYING ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!"
6. Just for fun post a picture of yourself as a new item in your shop! Sell yourself off for a few dollars and see who buys you! And if no one does, than you’ve now got an EXCELLENT excuse to stay depressed!!
5. Hide under the covers with all your craft supplies and ponder on the meaning of life and most importantly on the meaning of.... marketing techniques to drive sales with search engine optimized wording!
4. While someone you love is sleeping, glue sparkles and sequins on their foreheads and dangle a few beads from their toes...when they wake up shout, "Yay, you TOTALLY look like an Etsy project!!!!!!!"
3. Find a new hobby in addition to Etsy...perhaps sword-fighting or wrangling alligators. What a better way to vent out zero sales instead of just sitting at your computer crying about it!
2. Send a note to “Admin’ at least once a week and ask them WHY OH WHY they never feature your shop on the front page but rather focus on mundane and boring seller items like hand-carved wood art or hand-crafted pottery. I mean, REALLY glittery jellybean pants are super HOT items these days!!!!!!!!!
And the number one way to beat off the Etsy Blues is...drum roll please...tata...tata...tata....
1. When you wake up each morning, take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and affirm this aloud to yourself, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone it...someone will BUY something from me today!"
-AllieB
http://allieb.etsy.com/